Week Three Speaking Practice: Be Slow of Speech

I started it using the website and app called Stickk, which helps people commit to certain goals.

I’ve found that this has greatly increased my effectiveness, and long-term consistency, of practicing communicating effectively and building relationships with others.

Each week, I complete a “structure” (detailed below) and I also practice in conversation with six people throughout the week, focusing on one specific practice that I personally select.

Slowing Down

This week, I practiced slowing down while talking.

As I have explained here, slowing down makes the conversation flow much better, as you have more time to think and the other person has more time to relate to you during a conversation.

My structure for this week was to practice talking slowly by myself for a few minutes. Even here I found that I naturally would speed up the conversation before reigning myself in.

Practice in conversation was simple, but more difficult than when alone.

Here are some notes in bullet proof form from this past week:

1. While practicing the first time, I got very excited and turned into a conversational puppy — it was hard to reign in this impulse as we were talking about camping and hiking in Utah, but throughout the conversation, I got better
2. Within the second conversation, I found that I would start some sentences off very fast, but then gradually taper down. I think that having the intention to start slowly will make tapering down even easier to bring it down to half speed (which is the aim)
3. I felt like I really started to gain momentum within the third practice. I even noted down that “I feel I’ve been catching myself sooner and sooner during conversations”, which is a good sign. The first conversations made me feel like it was difficult to talk slow, and it definitely is! By this point, I felt more confident in my abilities and also confident that the other person would never even notice (even though it felt super slow to me)
4. Although I felt I was making progress before, I over-emphasized paying attention to the pace during this conversation after arriving in New Jersey to visit my family. I paid so much attention to talking slowly that I forgot to pay attention to the conversation! Yes, slow down, but also listen and think! If you don’t give these mental energy it ruins the whole point.
5. This is where I experienced time to think during a more intimate conversation with a close family member. There was much more space and I didn’t feel the need to fill it by talking faster or saying more.
6. This last conversation was one that I dreaded having but was necessary. I found that by slowing down, instead of being curt with the other person, I actually was more interested in the conversation. I listened more and cared more because of it.

The one thing that I noticed during all these conversations was that there was never any “What did you say?” questions or looks of confusion, which often happens when my mouth gets carried away.

Originally published at https://mooreaustin.com on August 8, 2020.

Want to convince yourself to talk slowly? Check out the article that inspired this practice here: How to tell if you’re talking way too fast during conversations.